A True Braveheart

This weekend I watched an interview of the screenwriter who wrote the screen play for the movie Braveheart.  What I found fascinating was the story behind the story of the movie.  Remember in the movie whenever William Wallace (Mel Gibson) would get discouraged, he would see his wife who was brutally murdered. She had the most beautiful piercing blue eyes and somehow Wallace would be strengthened and keep going.

Well the story behind the story is the screenwriter had severe asthma as a child, and his grandmother would pick him up and walk him around to keep him calm because any excitement could cause an attack; and kill him. His grandmother had piercing blue eyes and while he was sick, he would just look into her eyes and all he could remember was seeing love. She would walk him around all night if necessary and sing to him, but looking into her eyes kept him safe and alive.

In the movie Braveheart, most people saw it as an action epic of war, when in fact, its a love story.  Wallace's wife is brutally murdered and he wages war against England and its barbaric practices bestowed on the people of Scotland. The brutality was a result of the love he lost and Wallace's quest to regain respect and dignity for his people.  Wallace decided to change how things were done, even if it costs him his life and eventually it did.

I guess it all depends on your perception and what eyes your looking through to see things in a different way. I just choose to believe that real love has the power to take you to this place of no return. More so, if the power of love is really operating in you with grandeur, you will be willing to do whatever is necessary to accomplish exactly what's in your heart, even til death.

Because after all what else is there?

If the life you're living is not pushing you to a place where you don't have to risk anything, then you're just faking the funk. You have not really entered into a place of all or nothing. This is the place where the rubber meets the road and there is no turning back.

There's a brief description of the movie that says "Every man dies, not every man really lives."  How sobering is that statement?  I want some much more than mediocrity and when I start to feel like I'm not moving the way in which I know I can, it gets very frustrating for me.

I guess I'm just an all or nothing kinda gal. I don't want a piece of anything, I want it all. If I cant have it all, then I don't want it; at all.  I believe that whatever God has for me, its mine and I don't have to apologize for it. Now I know this type of attitude has gotten me into some trouble in the past, but so what, I've also been in trouble for far less.  But on the other hand, its this very attitude that has opened many doors for me. 

Anyway, I'm just at a place where I know faith works by love and sometimes you've just got to let go and jump.  God has given me the Braveheart to do all that He has placed inside of me.  I don't have to fear for anything because God is with me all the way.

Much Love                 

Soul Of A Woman

This is a confession of my soul.

I have recently discovered that God wants me to have what my heart desires far more than I even wanted it.  How can I quantify that statement?  Well, let me explain.

For years I have been believing God for specific blessings to manifest in my life. However, on some level I have been fighting God every step of the way. Sadly, I didn't realize what I was doing, but truth has a way of shinning the light on your circumstances, and sometimes even forcibly pushing you into a place you never anticipated. Sometimes, God will put people right in front of you and the amazing part is those same people hold the keys to your future. 

Through the process of seeking God, there are series of events that will take place to reveal not only the mind of God, but also, the very answers you've been praying for. Funny thing is, we're often clueless as to the reality of this truth because our nature is to gravitate to what we already know, and many times we miss the blessings of the unknown because of fear.

OKAY....

I know your asking what do I mean by all this, well, hold on and let me tell you. One of the many desires of my heart is to meet the man God has prepared for me. However, I've been walking around with a cloak of invisibility (my fat cloak). I thought it was just easier for me to avoid sin and the pressures of wanting to have sex by being overweight.  Now here me out, I didn't plan it that way, but this is the result from wanting to hide and not facing the truth. Oh but here's the kicker, the strong desire to want to have sex has never changed.

So why did I put myself through all this hell for nothing? Or did I? This brings me to my recent discovery.  I'm really good at pouring myself out into the lives of others, one of my Spiritual Grace Gifts is to EXHORT. Oh I can break that thing down. I love building people, but I have a tendency to pour out and not receive in return. Well as of lately, God has put me in a place of receiving and honestly, it took some work for me. The real issue was receiving the way in which God wanted me to, and that's what I had a problem with.

Truth be told, God has been trying to get certain answers to me for some time now, but I just refused to hear what I didn't want to hear. To make it clearer, it was never about being overweight cause I'm still sexy. No, that was not the issue, the real issue was about me receiving what God had and whom He chose to use in my life that I had a problem with. Now here's my disclaimer, this statement does not mean in any way that I'm saying its okay to be overweight and I don't have to change. Truth is, me being overweight is not really who I am, or even the best that God wants for me, not to mention its unhealthy.  

The real lesson in all this is to be led by the Spirit of God.  There is no other way. You will only make yourself crazy trying to do a whole bunch of things that will never fulfill you. God will even go so far as to put the love your looking for into someone you would have never suspected, and it will hit you like a ton of bricks. I just decided to surrender to love and all that God has for me in His way.           

Much Love

          

The Fact Is I Need You

So often as women, we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of self deception. As black women, we endure so much. At times, we become hard and disconnected because of hurts and disappointments. Some of the words that come out of our mouths are extremely devastating. Destructive words such as:

I DON'T NEED YOU...

Well, let me make it real clear, that's a lie. I am thoroughly convinced that my life would not be the same without your influence.  Now, I have to admit, there have been some frogs in my life. Actually, I'm thankful that I've overcame those issues and could eventually...forgive them.

But here's a thought.

Could I really respect and honor the blessing of a God given man, had I not experienced the pain of a counterfeit? In fact, how would I possibly know the difference?

It seems relatively sensible to me. Now, at this point of my life, I'm far more aware of what it is that I want; as well as what I don't. I can see so much more clearly how God has placed such magnificent men in my life. From my brothers to my uncles and friends across the board. I have really been blessed.

God has truly used men to restore my life in so many ways. I'm fascinated with the different influences from school, ministry, business, fitness, and for those of you who just make me feel like a beautiful women.  

Although I can buy myself pretty much anything I want is not the issue. However, somethings just don't ever change.  That my friend is the STRONG need I have for you, my BLACK brother.

Much Love