Stop In The Name Of Love

Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about getting married and what that picture would look like. It's amazing to me how we as people, often seem to have this picturesque idea of what we think a married life is supposed to be.

Well, I know I do...here's a glimpse of what most people view marriage as looking like. You meet this person and fall in love and decide to get married. Everything about this person makes you feel great. Just thinking about them sets your heart on fire. Not to mention, when you see them. Tsst, that's the sound of wetting my finger and touching something really hot. You get the picture. The fantasy is the most beautiful person you've ever seen, everything about them is amazing. Fantasy person makes you feel alive, your whole world is brand new and all you want to do is just smile whenever you think about them.

This person is usually beautifully flawless, and who absolutely caters to your every whim. This person totally understands all of your needs and fulfills each and everyone of them without fail.

Ahh NOT!!

C'mon now, you know good and well that's not how marriage works. Now hold on, I don't mean to sound cynical, but that's where the very problem begins. Most people go into a marriage thinking of themselves and all the things that someone else is going to do for them. We usually never fantasize about all the things we get to do for the other person, well, other than sex.

Most people who are longing to be married, think of marriage as some big jack pot. Many are deceived in thinking that all your troubles are over and that's just not true. If you were a jerk before you got married, you'll still be a jerk after you're married. If you're a slob and didn't like to clean up before you got married, more than likely, you'll still be a slob after the I Do's.

It's not that the love has failed, or that we've even made a mistake in our choice of mate. People often give up because of selfish thinking and desires.

In the book of Genesis, Adam said to Eve "you are now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." At that moment, God only recognized them as one unit , not two anymore. the two became one. Usually, when people first get married, everything is wonderful. The two agree on things together, making decisions for one another. They consider each others needs and oblige one another.

There are so many who get married and then shortly after, they say the love is gone, no its not. Somewhere down the line, selfishness stepped in and decided to stay awhile and have some tea and crumpets. That's when the one unit becomes two again. At that point, everything is about their own selfish desires and what someone else can do for them, and if you don't meet all of those demands, then it's over.

God intended for marriage to be about love, commitment and intimacy. It's a whole lot more than just feeling a certain way about a person. Love is a choice. Even when you don't feel it, you keep on loving the other person until you get that feeling again.

Love suffers long, and is kind; love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, Love never fails. I corinthians 13:4-8.

Dominion

I recently got a reminder of what walking in dominion truly means. Dominion begins with knowing who you are in Christ and exercising your God given authority.

Well on that note, being the personality that I am, I had to come to a resolve within myself. I realized that I sometimes make the same mistakes over and over again, and that's not the bad part. Where I would fall short is the presumption that people are supposed to actually care.

I am one of those personalities who gets pleasure out of helping others, it's who I am and what I love to. I've always been a person who reaches out wherever there's a need. But hold on, that's not always a good thing. Often times, I over extend myself which intern would lead to my own hurt. Well, after doing things to help others and getting worn out, of course, I would get upset and feel mistreated.

What I discovered, I was the author of my own confusion. I was the one who was cooperating with disaster.

I realized, I had no one else to blame, but myself...

Well, I decided I was not going to cooperate any longer. I am the one who has total control over what was happening in my life. The things in my life I didn't like, I had the power to change. God has already given me dominion.

This brings me to my new discovery...

I recently had an experience with an individual who often comes to me for help. Of course, in the past I would make myself available and over extend myself to help take some of the pressure off of her, but without consideration of what I was taking on. However, this time, I decided I was just not going to do it. I was already extremely busy and stretched too far in my own responsibilities. Well, this individual got very upset. So much so, this person looked me square in the face and said...JUST DO IT!!!

Well, if I didn't mention it before, this is a co-worker. Someone who has absolutely no right to demand anything from me. Everything I've previously done to help her was out of the kindness of my heart. Needless to say, this really pissed me off. Before I could really think, I was expressing an emphatic "NO". Which caused several people to look and ask...okay Nicole what's going on?

I was simply "just not going to help"...

Shortly after, when I got back to my desk to breathe and re-cap what had just happened, "I decided" this is not acceptable and I'm not taking this mess. I could hear the Lord reminding me, I didn't owe anybody anything, but to love them.

Meaning, I don't have to prove my love to God by taking garbage that others dish out. It does not make me anymore spiritual, or closer to God. It was a lie straight from the pit.

This was about exercising my dominion....

Whether you believe it or not, if you don't take dominion over your own life, somebody else will do it for you.

Letting Go (Part I)

Today I let go of some stuff I've had for a long time. What's so amazing, it was stuff I had been trying to get rid of, but for some unlikely reason, I just didn't.

Several months ago I went through my closets and bagged three huge bags of clothes. I have a lot of clothes. A lot of very expensive clothes.

What I find so crazy, the reason those bags stayed in my upstairs hallway for several months before I actually got rid of them. I had already decided that I didn't want them any longer. What the heck was I scared of? Which brings me to my next question.

What are you holding on to?

It's amazing to me the stuff we carry as people. Sometimes, we even carry stuff we adamantly and unalterably do not want.

What's up with that?

This morning I got up and "decided" I was not going to walk past those bags another day. Needless to say, all that stuff is now gone. In doing so, what I discovered was a freedom and a liberty that came over me. So much so, that I had to blog about it. There are so many people who just need to let go.

I realize that this experience was about me overcoming fear. Fear shows up in many different forms, and for some reason, the Lord showed me how I was walking in fear by holding on to those bags.

I believe God loves us so much He will use anything, even our own fears that we sometimes hold on to, to help get us delivered. Meaning, God let me see my fear through the frustration of holding on to something I didn't want. It was once I decided and then took steps, that God revealed to me what was really going on. True revelation is faith in action, not something you pull out of the clouds.

It has taken me hardly no time to write this blog, of course, once I got past the fear issue God wanted me to see. I knew I wanted to do this, but fear gripped me, and held me in place. Yet writing is an easy thing for me. It's who I am and what I love to do by expressing the heart and mind of God through my own experiences.

Now, not only does it feel good to let go, but also, my hallway is clear. Hallelujah!!!