A Time to Give Thanks

How many of us are truly grateful for who we are? And better yet, for where we are?

Well, I for one have had my struggles along this path called life, but I have to admit, God has been so good to me, I shutter to even think where I'd be if I did not have the Lord in my life. Although I haven't blogged in a while, there's been so much in my heart and on my mind I could have gone in several directions, but somehow, I'm led to give thanks. 

The picture above was made by Tawanda Cooper who is one of my closest friends. She is a one of those people who I know I can take to war with me, as well as take to lunch. These types of people are far, few, and in between. We have ministered in many countries all across the nations, but seeing her recently put things into a whole new perspective for me. My friend is a highly educated woman, beautiful, and extremely talented. Yet, I've never seen her more happy and fulfilled as I witnessed her simply being a wife and mother to her little girl Kennedi.  

Anyway, this brings me to my next question:

Is living a purpose producing life about how much you accomplish and how important you are? Or with gratitude, making the most of your life, no matter where you are?

Honestly, if you would have told me twenty years ago that I'd be where I am today, I probably would have laughed and said "yeah right!!!".  The amazing thing is, God has been leading me for a long time and my life doesn't look anything like I thought it would. Actually, its more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

Anyway, I said all of that to say this. I am so grateful to God for where I am right now. I trust God because He has brought me this far, and He will lead me into my tomorrow. I'm living a purpose producing life filled with all the very best that life could possibly offer. Why?  Because I have God who reigns in my life and who is the very best that life could possibly offer. 

Much Love

             

The Moment of Truth

How many of you have ever come to a place in your life where you knew it was time to be real with You? I'm talking about a moment when you meet your true self.

This moment is "eth" consumed with truth and harsh reality....

I know you think you may know where I'm going with this, but hear me out. God has chosen me with a holy calling upon my life and although I am everything God says I am, there is a real war that rages against the very best of who God is in my life.

Well for me, I just happened upon myself through a mistake I kept making. It became a ritual of committing this sin every weekend and afterward I would cry out to God and ask for forgiveness.  I knew however God would forgive me and forget those mistakes.

Yet in reality, the moment of truth came when I realized I liked doing what I was doing and more than likely, I was going to do it again. So, that brings me to my next question:

How do you face the truth of yourself when you like/love doing something you know breaks God's heart?

This was heart breaking for me as well because I love the Lord. I was dealing with this issue from the religious perspective of me controlling a weakness. When in fact, regardless of how wrong it may be, I liked it and wanted to do it again. 

Just like the prodigal son, the bible says "he came to himself", or in other words he came to the realization of who he really was at that very moment. I got to a place where I knew this was a real weakness in my life that I was ashamed of.   

Bottom line, my moment of truth was realizing that there are some parts of me that I may struggle with for the rest of my life.  The only answer to freedom from sin is letting Christ be healing and deliverance in that part of my life where I'm weak, not how good I am at not committing a sin.

A purpose producing life is filled with all sorts of struggles and hardships. However, it is the life of a true over comer. Its a life that Christ reigns in; especially those parts of my life which are weak. "In my weakness He is made strong". 

    

LOVE

I am the most sought after, yet the most misunderstood. Oh how I long to be found and embraced, but I am far too often rejected. I am the object of your desire you say, as two eyes meet across a smoke filled room with hearts racing, panting, longing.

But oh my friend, you are very much mistaken, you see...I am what men are willing to die for, steal for, lie for, and even kill for. It takes only a moment to find me, and a lifetime to forget me. You see, I only want what’s best for you, but to have me, I will cost you everything to keep me.

I am who brings two people together who have never met, and I am who causes people to part, who have known one another their whole lives. I was there when it all began, when the foundations were laid. I was there when the stars were placed one by one in the heavens.

Sometimes, you don’t truly know you’ve found me, until you’ve lost me.  Because however will you know the difference. I am a mother ferociously protecting her children, while simultaneously nurtures and comforts them.

My friend, the key is giving yourself, and once you’ve given yourself. You won’t have to look for me, I will find you. You see, love is not love until it's given away. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son. So I ask you, what are you willing to give for me.


Nicole Payne

You Are A Treasure

I found a treasure one day, it was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. When at first I saw it, wasn’t quite sure what material or substance it came from, but one thing is for certain, it's uniquely beautiful.

I could immediately tell by looking at the defined markings, that it has endured much. I guess that’s what really made me take a second glance of it. Not exactly sure how long it’s been here, but it’s obviously very valuable, even priceless.

That’s when I realized, I was meant to find it, and to appreciate it’s true beauty. Wow! the honor of experiencing such beauty was a gift for me to enjoy. I just had to thank God for creating such a beautiful treasure, and allowing me to find one.

Well, I know now it wasn’t just for me to enjoy all alone, but I’m grateful all the more that I had the chance to. And if you didn’t know it already, I was talking about you. Thank you for coming into my life and being such a blessing.

This is what you are to me, a beautiful treasure that only a very few get a chance to experience. You are priceless to me.

Much love and many blessings

Nicole
 
 
 
 

A Love That Says No....

I find myself in a wonderful place now. Why? Because I found the courage to say no.
Even though, the thing being offered to me was what I wanted more than anything else.
A struggle between what I want, what I need, how I feel, who I am, damn what about me.

Yet the love in me says no. Why can’t I let go and just be? Free from this pain inside of me. But oh what shall I do, when society says, you can’t, your not, go back. Hell you’re going through what you’re going through because you are a woman who is black.

Wanting to hate and kill somebody, anybody, because why me? I didn’t ask for this, No this can’t be. Although it’s the only reality I can see.

God is this all You have for me?

When upon asking, God reveals purpose is what I have for thee. The purpose or the reason why is the question you feel what you feel. For I’ve made you especially. Cut from the blackest of coal from a deep dark place...Hidden.

There was a process of pressure and cutting away that had to be. Oh, now I see. Now it all makes sense to me. A diamond in the rough is what I was. And at that moment I realized why I couldn’t love or be loved because the one I hated was me.

Nicole Payne

Fly Like An Eagle

How many of you have been in a place where you were dissatisfied? Well, that's a good place to start toward change. Anyway, let me tell you a little story about a farmer who raised an eagle in a turkey coop. 

One day, a turkey farmer found an unhatched egg amidst his turkey eggs, it was obvious this egg was larger, but the farmer just left the curious egg to be cared for along with the other eggs. As it turns out, the unknown egg hatched a baby eaglet, and while growing up with turkeys, the little eaglet tried to gobble and eat the same food, but it was obvious the eaglet was not satisfied and felt very out of place.

While one afternoon like any other day, the little eagle was out in the yard playing with the turkeys, and along comes another eagle who flies over the coop soaring through the air and lands high in a tree. Of course, the little eagle was fascinated by the older eagle's performance and wanted to do likewise.

Just then, the older eagle in the tree swoops down into the coop and asks the little eagle, "what on earth are you doing in here with these turkeys? You're an eagle!!!" The little eagle puzzled by the question, although very excited, began to cry out "teach me how to fly". Of course the older eagle felt honored. At that very moment, the older eagle said "stretch out your wings".   

Anyway, to make a long story short, after the little eagle learned how to fly, he flew away from the turkey coop.  Okay, now after reading this story, I'm sure you think you know where I'm about to go with the rest of this post right? Which brings me to my next question:

How many of you are eagles living in turkey coops, and have you found comfort in your dissatisfaction?

I believe the dissatisfaction in our lives is an indicator that something is out of order. Undeniably this is a cute little story, but what about the fact that there are many eagles living in turkey coops, and not because they don't know they're eagles, but somehow they have found solace in a place of dissatisfaction? 

That being so, the important thing is to not ignore that uncomfortable feeling. So many of us make the mistake of looking for ways to be comfortable in a place of dissatisfaction. That dissatisfaction is present for you to seek answers to move toward change. Just like the little eagle, once he saw the older eagle flying and soaring, something within himself knew he wanted to fly.

But we have to be willing to learn and change our circumstances?...   

There are some who were born into situations and others who have allowed themselves to become entangled with circumstances that have obstructed their true identity. It may take God connecting you with the right someone you can identify with to bring change into your life. It's through these powerful relationships where you will discover who you really are, and ultimately; where you are destined to soar.

Its Yours...How Bad Do You Want It?

How many of us have dream(s) in our hearts that we've been working toward?  I know pretty much everyone, but sometimes life knocks the wind out of you through circumstances and situations and bring you to a place of what next. Well, I not only arrived at this place called what next, but I also decided this was not the place I wanted to stay.

I have recently been faced with insurmountable pressures and circumstances that seemed hopeless.  But what I discovered was this place is no different than any other place. Every place in your life begins with a decision. I could either stay in a place of hurt and discouragement because of the injustices heaped upon me, keep crying my eyes out to God, or I could get up and look for answers on how to bring my dream to pass.

For a moment, all I wanted to do was just let go of everything. I felt as if maybe I've bitten off more than I could chew, maybe I'm not smart enough, or maybe I've waited too long to pursue what's in my heart. The list went on and on...but however, the tugging at my heart to get up and move was still there. Although faint, but still pulsating.

That's when it hit me, its almost as if I could hear God saying to me "practice what you preach. Do what you know to do". Okay, and what you need to know is we went back and forth. I even had the nerve to shake my fist at God and tell Him "You said You would take care of me and this sucks...where's the provision...I'm doing what You said to do...why are things happening like this...Where are You?"

As you can see, it was not pretty. The amazing part was all along God was telling me how much He loved me and how much He has blessed me. I finally said okay Lord I surrender All. That's when the lights came on. What I realized was there was some unfinished business in this place called what next and I could not move any further until I dealt with it. The Father loves us so much He does not want us taking old hindrances into our future because it will only destroy God's best. Which brings me to my next question:

Where are you? And what are you willing to do to go all the way to your destiny? 

I had to make a decision to keep moving. There are so many gifts inside of me and I just began to use them. Amazingly, as I began to use what I knew, God began to open doors for me one at a time.  Unexpected money, favor from old corporate connections, just so many blessings have been poured out.

What I discovered through this process is you can have your dream if you want it, but you have to keep moving. Life will happen and give you plenty of reasons and opportunity to stop, but will you dare to get up after you've been knocked down. God wanted me to be reminded of what's inside of me. Its the stuff that champions are made of.

If you want to fulfill God's purpose for your life, you've got to be willing to keep moving in spite of the circumstances. Remember, God is always with you no matter what it looks like.


     
   

Who Is The Greatest Among You?

When you think of leadership, what are some of the qualities that come to mind?

For some it may be strength and the ability to get things done, while for others, it may be the power and influence to push others to become their best.  Of course, both of these are excellent qualities to possess, I also believe these qualities are necessary in leadership.

However, there is a more excellent way...

The quality of preferring others above self surpasses them all.  There is something about letting go, or relinquishing the reigns that ushers in freedom.

Jesus was the perfect example of this very concept.  At the Last Supper, Jesus washed all the feet of His disciples. Of course Peter was the first to reject this idea because this is the lowest place one could possibly be. 

Uhhh...and you know they were walking in the dirt all day with sandals on...yuck!

Yet, I believe this is the best place and the heartbeat of a true leader.

Unfortunately, I have not always been under this impression, but in the Kingdom of God, its not about who's the smartest or the prettiest, its about your willingness to yield and having a humble spirit.  However, its easier said than done.

What I've discovered is whenever God elevates His people, one of the first things that must be checked at the door is PRIDE. The enemy is always looking for ways to gain access to your life. Which brings me to my next question:

Is God ruling on the throne of your life, and if not, are you willing to humble yourself?

 

  

The Graduate

When you think about graduation, what are some of the things that come to mind?

For some, it may be a since of accomplishment.  Yet for others it may represent the possibility of what is to come.  However, both of these examples are correct. Although before you graduate, you will have to pass a series of test that will determine your accuracy and knowledge of the subject at hand.

Sadly, there are those who eagerly cheat their way through, and boastfully fake for as long as they can. While others work hard at learning and become diligent achievers of their desires.  What I love about the Kingdom of God, no matter how a person fakes to convince the world, the true test is given by God. This is not a test that you can fake.  Your life will be proven.

Fortunately, the place I currently find myself in represents not just a test, but also, that I've graduated.  I am everything God says I am because the Father has proven my life to be so. The most powerful thing we have as Christians is our testimony.  Where God has brought me from is not something that's rehearsed, but a life of purpose that has been lived out loud for many years.

As with any course, both academically as well as in life, there is your ivy league, and your community education.  The difference between these two is simply the access which is made available to obtain the best that life has to offer.  The fact that you attend an ivy league school, in no way makes you better that a person who has a community education.  In the kingdom of God it works the same way, for those who diligently continue in God's way, experience access of kingdom living on the ivy league level.  Of course, to experience the ivy league will require a much greater cost.  Which brings me to my next question:

What cost are you willing to pay to access the best God has for you, or is cheating good enough?

Unfortunately, many individuals don't really have true revelation from the Father.  So many people have become what I call parakeets. They simply mimic and repeat what they've heard someone else say.  However, we have entered a time where you better KNOW CHRIST like never before.  Your cute Christianity will not keep you "in times" where we are headed as a church.

Paul said "that I may know Him in the power of His resurrection, the fellowship of His suffering, being conformed to His death."  In other words, the life I live is because God is in my DNA, not only because of something I read in the bible. God's word has become a part of who I am in Christ.

So I ask, do you truly know Him?  

 

            

I Surrender All

Have you ever been in a place that felt like a pressure cooker with the lid on it?  Well I have and let me just start by saying.....ouch!! 

I have recently been in one of those places and although it hurt, I better understand why God allowed me to go through this process.  When God is elevating you to a new place, sometimes there is a certain process that must take place in the Spirit that will not occur any other way but through the process of resistance and pressure.

When I tell you that scripture in 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." 

Yeah....that one, that was me...... 

Everything in my life was being challenged and pressed.  Everywhere I turned, I was pressed.  I had nowhere to run to or go.  Things were falling apart from my friends, family, job, school, and finances.

This place put me on my knees like never before; is only the half of it.  As it turns out, this was exactly where God wanted me.  There was a place God was taking me, but I had to give birth to this place in the Spirit.  For God to give me what He wanted to give me, I had to get mad enough to push, but without the weight of resistance, I would have never gotten here.

Through this process, the ugly part was seeing some of the nastiness that was still inside of me that I didn't know existed.  This process allowed me to see those issues within me that are still being perfected.  If it had not been for the pressure on every side, I would have probably still been under the impression of believing I'm giving my very best. Oh, but God had a plan to show me otherwise.  To truly walk in the love of God, you've got to be willing to be patient with people, and recently, patience was not on my list of things to do.  Which brings me to my next question:


Where is God trying to take you, and furthermore, are you willing to go?

What I discovered through this process was the surrendering that was necessary for me to get to this next place.  God not only elevated me, but also, He anointed me to operate from a higher realm of the Spirit that is beyond anything I've ever known. This was a work that God had chose to do through me. 

In fulfilling God's purpose, you've got to be willing to let God have His way in your life. God wants every part of you surrendered to Him, not just the parts we polish for the world to see.  He wants all of you, even those ugly parts that we hide. To truly fulfill God's purpose we must be surrendered and obedient to God's will even if you don't understand it, surrender anyway.

Much Love

A New Beginning

How many of you get excited when you hear about the birth of a newborn baby? 

However, at that precise moment, many of us never relish the thought of all the travail and process it takes just to experience that new life. 

I believe our destiny works the same way.  We start out with the conception of an idea and then the process of pregnancy begins.  For some it may be the feelings of fatigue in your body because of carrying the extra weight from the baby, morning sickness, or not being able to even smell some of your favorite foods without becoming deathly ill. Although for others it may be smooth as silk during the entire pregnancy, and then as soon as the first labor pangs hit; all hell breaks loose.

Honestly, we don't know what type of pregnancy we're going to have, but during that process, there are some things we can do to better prepare ourselves for what's to come.  Anyway, I said all that to say, you cannot bring forth new life without the travail of pregnancy and birth. Which brings me to my next question:

What are you pregnant with, and if so, are you prepared for the time to give birth?

I believe giving birth to our destiny is parallel to our daily living and the choices we make. When God gives you a vision, at that moment you've conceived an idea to do something very powerful and significant.  The very idea that you are pregnant with purpose is exhilarating.  However, like pregnancy and bringing your dreams to pass, there is a timing and a season for that birth.  Whether you feel you're ready, or the timing would be better if its two months down the line...oh well, your labor has begun. 

At this point, its time for you to position yourself to give birth.  A key element is those who are in your life during this process, you are in an extremely vulnerable position, and you are exposed.  It is imperative for you to be mindful of who you are exposing yourself to. You do not want everybody knowing your inward parts, so to speak.

Okay, I can hear you laughing...

During this time, you cannot share everything with everybody, this is a time where you only want FAITH around you. There are those key people in your life who will make the difference and this is the time to let them be a strength for you.  Although it hurts while your giving birth, its only for a while and before you know it, your baby is here.  At that moment, you're not thinking about how bad it hurt or how long it took, your just so happy to see your beautiful new baby. 

In producing God's purpose, there are various seasons we will endure in fulfilling our destiny.  Like giving birth, the good thing is once you're on the other side of that labor, you can now begin the process of building a new life.  From the moment of conception of your dream, the very desire of your heart became a reality and through the process of faith has produced new life.  Now, when you look at your baby, your life is the product of fruitful living by faith, producing God's purpose.        

      

           

            



A Faith That Is Led By Love

Whenever I think about the words love or faith, I'm immediately taken to the thought of: Which comes first the chicken or the egg?

The truth is you cannot have one without the other. Faith and love are synonymous. You simply cannot operate in love without the action of faith. I know it sounds a bit confusing, but let me explain.

How often do people in relationships fall in and out of love because of what the other does or does not do. Well, let me make it real plain, this is not love or faith.  Real love is action (faith) when there is no reason to believe, and when you cannot see beyond where you are at this very moment. Love simply believes anyway and proves itself by doing acts of love according to what it believes; even when everything else opposes those very actions.

Now hold on....I can hear you saying but wait a minute...if someone loves you they will do this...and yes that's true, but however, this brings me to the very point I'm trying to make. Love is not necessarily about responding the way you want.

I believe love has a way of grabbing hold of you and demanding a response. The tricky part is the way in which you respond. You will either draw closer by doing everything you can to obtain the desires of your heart or you will back up even further from where you are. It is absolutely a choice in how you respond to your circumstances. Regardless of however you choose to move, your faith will be reflected in the actions of your love walk.

Faith like love are displayed through the option of choice. Jesus is the perfect example. He made a decision to love us by being crucified for us when He was innocent. Jesus was the answer needed for this dying world so God sent Him. There was absolutely no reason for Jesus to love us the way He demonstrated, "while we were yet sinners Christ died for us".

Like Christ, there are so many needs on this earth that we hold the answers to. God has created us with a purpose to be fulfilled on this earth; and He has placed a strategic plan within us to be the answer to someone else's need.  Which brings me to my next question.

What is it that God requires of you? And better yet, what is your response?

"For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son". I believe love requires you to give something as an act of faith towards what you say you love. My response to God is YES. I know that this is the safest place for me. In spite of whatever things may appear to look like, I know God has my best interests at heart. God is not going to hurt me in any way. I may go through a hard place by the hands of hurtful individuals, but God has already provided a way of escape for me by faith because "all things work together for the good of them who love God and those who are called according to His purpose".

This is the foundation of who I am. I've been founded and built on a firm foundation that will not be moved. Through everything I've endured and overcome, God is producing His purpose in my life through the demonstration of love in my daily living by faith.

Loving My Neighbor As My Neighbor Loves Me

When you think about the biblical phrase of "Love Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself", what does that really mean? Being that this is a part of the Law of Moses in the ten Commandments, does this still apply to us believers under the dispensation of grace through Christ?

Well to answer that question, Jesus said "I give unto you a new commandment to Love one another." This particular subject brings to mind the parable of the "Good Samaritan". You know the story. There was a man who was on his way down a certain road and was robbed, beaten up and left dying in the street. In this parable, there were several individuals who saw the man, and could plainly see this person needed some help. However, the need of the wounded person was a inconvenience or an unconcerned issue for the previous passers by.

On this same road, a gentlemen approaches the hurt individual and sees the need for help. The passer by just happened to be of Samaritan race and heritage. This piece of information changes the circumstances of the entire scenario. Being that the victim who was in need of help was not favorable to the Samaritan people. However, the Samaritan was the only one who cared enough to willingly stop and help the man.

This brings me to my next question, what if the injured person was you?

The injured person did not refuse the help he received from the Samaritan, in fact, he was extremely blessed by the act of love, not to mention living through this ordeal. How often do we miss our blessings that God sends us because we don’t like the answer we’re receiving? There’s a scripture in the bible that talks about not responding like the dog who SNIFFED at the gift. God sends us answers all the time, but often we don’t like the package or the way in which it arrives and we sniff at it.

God has placed us in each others lives to be a blessing to one another through the expression of love. The loving of your neighbor is an extension of God’s purpose for your life being fulfilled through His plans. Unfortunately, many are not willing to yield to God or His plans, much less don’t even know God has a plan for their lives. I don’t believe it was a coincidence at all that Jesus used the phrase "people walking along the same road" in the parable of the Good Samaritan. People are in our lives for the purpose of fulfilling God’s plans through one another.

Just think about how significant we are to one another. What if Mary had said to the Angel "NO I can’t have no baby I’m about to be married. You are not about to mess up my plans dude". God would have had to find someone else to use and bring the Son of God to earth.

What I’ve discovered through this process is the concept of loving your neighbor works both ways. You must be willing to give what is necessary to supply what others need as well as, being open to receive from the individuals God has placed in your life. Loving your neighbor is about giving and receiving from one another. If we are yielded to God and God’s plans for our lives, then our needs are met and there is nothing missing, nothing broken, and nothing lacking. We are operating in the Shalom Peace of God.

Religion + Science = Synchronicity

Have you ever encountered synchronicity?  Okay I can hear you saying huh?

Let me explain, synchronicities are people, places or events that your soul attracts into your life to help you evolve to higher consciousness or to place emphasis on something going on in your life.
We've all heard the expression, "There are no accidents." This is true.  All that we experience is by design, and what we attract to ourselves in the physical or natural realm. There are no accidents just synchronicity wheels, the wheels of time, wheels within wheels, sacred geometry, the evolution of consciousness in the alchemy of time.

Now bare with me, that's a very brief scientific explanation...
 
Now in the book of Ezekiel, in chapter 1 of the bible, the prophet Ezekiel has a vision of God and in this vision he describes these four living creatures. The bible describes each creature as having four faces, the face of a man, the face of a lion, the face of an ox, and the face of an eagle. Ezekiel describes these creatures as moving wherever the spirit moved. Each living creature had a wheel beside it and there was an inner wheel in the middle. The living creatures moved together simultaneously and only when the middle wheel moved.  
 
They were in synchronicity with the Spirit and with one another...
 
We are so full of power and energy we will sometimes attract and manifest people and events as reflections of our own inner turmoil.  Furthermore, you have the power to take authority and change your circumstances and not allow your circumstances to overrule your life. 

Sometimes we open ourselves to the wrong people because we connect ourselves through strong desires of both wanting the same thing.  Truth is, if your paying attention, people are revealing who they are everyday. Often we spend allot of time asking God questions which are right in front of us.

I love quantum physics and the mechanics of how life generates through the principles of power and light.  This is how love works, not to mention hate as well. There are certain people we're in sync with for all kinds of reasons which brings me to my next question:

Who are the people you're in synchronicity with, and why?     

I'm taking this time to search out why I'm synchronized with certain people. Is it because of the good or because of the bad?  Honestly it could possibly be both. I only want what the Spirit of the Lord has for me, so as long as I'm led by the Spirit, truth will be revealed as to who is and who is not.

Bottom line is I choose to follow Christ. My will is in His will, so anyone who is good in my life, their will is also in His will and we're moving together in synchronicity to advance the kingdom of God.

What Do "You" See

Being that we've not only entered a new year, but also, we've entered a new decade. Many of us have myriads of high expectations to receive great things to come. But here's a thought. Even though you've entered a new year, yet your image of yourself is still stuck in the past. 

Will the image of yourself affect how you pursue the desires of your heart? 

Well, along my journey, I have discovered self image is very key. Now hold on, I can hear the naysayers whispering, not another self help post.  The self image I'm referring to has to do with how God sees you.  So often we can't receive our blessings in the now, or much less, the future because we are stuck in the past. I can't speak for anybody else, but as for me, this past year was tumultuous to say the least. Now don't get me wrong, there were plenty of good things throughout this year, yet there were some pretty challenging times for me as well.  

If I can put my finger on the one thing I keep seeing over and over again, it has to do with what I'm expecting and why I'm expecting it.  I know your asking, what do I mean by this, well, for some reason there were several instances where God  put me in a position to receive far more than what I expected. I know, it sounds like that's a good thing huh? But in reality, its really in issue of me not expecting enough.  God wants us to expect more based on who we are in Him, not our circumstances.  

Sometimes, we see ourselves as not pretty enough, or thin enough and so on and so forth....but the truth is, none of us are good enough within ourselves. The real power comes from believing what God has said about you and working toward that vision and fulfilling that goal. Everything else, will either align with that vision or be removed from your life. This is a purpose producing life. This life is about God's purpose being fulfilled; not mine.  There is no purpose outside of God's purpose for my life.  We can go around and around the mulberry bush like the children of Israel did, or we can do it God's way and be blessed.  

Caleb said "let us go up at once" the bible refers to Caleb and Joshua as having another kind of Spirit. Caleb and Joshua believed what God said about them possessing the land. They were facing giants, yet they believed what God said, however, the other ten spies said "we are but grasshoppers". So, this brings me to my next question.

How do you see yourself?

To sum it all up, how you see yourself on the inside is where the real battle begins and where the true victory prevails. If you see yourself as a lion, you will pursue your dreams fiercely with unrelenting courage, or as timid as a domesticated kitty cat. According to your faith be it unto you.  

A New Year's Compassion

Here we are in the year of our Lord 2011. On New Year's Eve night I decided to celebrate and welcome in the new year by being in God's presence.  My church has a watch night service every New Year's Eve, and I knew this was the best place for me to be.  There are so many things I'm expecting from God, I just felt like I needed to take a more aggressive position toward what I wanted.   

One of the ways we celebrate at our church is by giving testimonies of what God has done over the past year. I love my pastor who makes it plain, "please only give your highlights and not every detail."  Being that we're only gonna be there until midnight, some people can shut the place down with their whole life story.

The first group who came forth were the youth. I could hear and see God moving through those children. It was as if God was painting a picture while telling a story.  There were several people who shared the good things as well as the troubles they were still believing God to move upon.  

While sitting and listening my heart was so overwhelmed I was moved to tears. It really doesn't take much for me to cry anyway, but this was different. My heart was breaking for these families. I could see so many needs that it became extremely overwhelming for me. So much so, continuing on into the next day. I was still crying for those people. I began to cry out to GOD  for these hurting people. Then it dawned on me, that's what Jesus did. Jesus was moved with compassion for us; all the way to the cross. He was touched with the feelings of our infirmities.  God was reminding me of how He felt my pain and only wanted me free.

Recently, I've been dealing with the process of letting go and I wasn't happy about it at all. But God. Once I finally said yes and decided to trust God, the Lord removed the weight I was carrying.  I was so distracted with what I may or may not have to do, I was beginning to toil.  All God wanted me to do was just ask, believe, and receive.

Anyway, that night I left everything I was toiling over at the alter. Now I'm just expecting.  God reminded me of how much He really loves me and wants to give me the desires of my heart. God wanted me to feel what was in His heart, so that I could better understand that He felt what was in mine. God is a loving and caring Father for us, not a task master.  

In John 15:7 Jesus said "If you abide in me and my word abide in you, you can ask ANYTHING and it shall be done for you."   

On that note, I'm just abiding and expecting.