Will you go, anyway?

 

Seems like a simple enough question to answer, it's either yes or no. Yet, we answer this question everyday in our decisions. However, without over simplifying, please hear me out. Our lives require each one of us to choose the direction we go and the option of doing whatever we can imagine. For example, you have an option when you wake, to get out of bed and be as productive as possible. Yet,  you may not feel well and are under pressure from the cares of life. And lets be honest, this past year has been a chore to say the least.  

However, in spite of whatever your circumstance, the way in which you respond will shape your day as well as your future. Again, these are decisions we make daily. Here is where you have to weigh what is more important. This brings me to my next question. 

What if God requires you to let go of something you need and Love?    

What I have discovered regarding this very question is not really about how I feel, but more so, about my willingness to trust and obey God. It is my discovery, that your choices require you to decide the value of a thing, before you ever choose it. What is more important, the thing that's worth a lot of money, the person you're in love with? What is it?

This question is a locator of the heart. There is a story in the bible about a rich young ruler. He asked Jesus what he needed to do to be a follower of Him. Jesus replied and asked the young man to go and sell all of his possessions and give it away to the poor. Of course, Jesus did not need his stuff. I mean really, c'mon now. Jesus could have asked him for any number of different things. Yet, He required him to let go of his wealth because that was the most important thing in his heart. Unfortunately, the young ruler could not do it. He walked away very sadly.  

So, with that being said, what's really important is knowing that whatever God requires of us, is nothing compared to what God gives us in return. God wants to give us far better than what we are letting go of or giving away. So, I leave you with this question to ponder. 

What is it that God has required of you?   

Continuing...to Begin, Again

 

Have you ever thought you were finished with something, only to find yourself at the same place again? Well, I said goodbye to writing in this blog 2 years ago and thought I was done with this particular part. However, what I thought and where God is leading me are two different things.  Anyway, I'm glad to be here again. When I left, I asked the question. 

"Do you really have to let go of something in order to begin a new thing"?  

Well, it all depends on what you're letting go of and the new thing you're moving toward. I know that is very vague but it's a true answer for where I am. Without getting too deep. 

Sometimes we think our transitions are final destinations, when in fact, they are mere transitions from one place to the next. And, sometimes they look very similar, yet they are anything but. 

Okay, I can hear you saying "huh".  

A Purpose Producing Life is a journey. There are plenty of winding roads with highs and lows along the way. Even though I believe I was done when I said good bye, yet there is something more God wants to say. I only hope these words written will bring life and change as they have in my previous writings. 

I Love you all very much and "More will be revealed".

Nicole 

                 Commit thy works unto the Lord, And thy thoughts will be established (Proverbs 16:3)

   

Letting Go (Part 2) The end and the beginning...

 

It was almost 9 years ago when I started writing this blog. "A Purpose Producing Life".  It seems so weird to me that I will no longer be posting in this medium. I have sometimes shared far more of my personal stuff than I should have, but I'm mostly glad I did. 

I am writing this post to say goodbye to this website and to close a chapter in my life that has changed me and the lives of so many. When I started posting, I had no idea of who would actually even view my blog or even find what I was saying of any interest. However, over the years I have witnesses in the tens of thousands reading my blog from all over the world. Can you say "far exceedingly, abundantly, above all you can ask or think". (Eph 3:20).

I thought it would be amusing to use my 16 year old year book picture. I needed something to represent just how much my life has changed. Also, the fact that you never stop being you, yet, how much change takes place in your life throughout the years. This picture is a clear reminder of that.   

Attached here is Letting Go (Part 1), https://apurposeproducinglife.blogspot.com/2010/06/letting-go-part-i.html#comment-form. I believe you need to read my very first post to better understand where I was when I started writing this blog in 2010. Which brings me to my next question. 

Do you really have to let go of something in order to begin a new thing?

Well, when I started this blog, I was letting go of fear. I made a decision to move toward what I wanted, although I had no idea of what the outcome was going to be, or what people would think or feel about me by sharing deep parts about my own real experiences. 

Needless to say, The words in these posts have helped me over and over again throughout the years. These words have helped me to discover who I am, and also, who I don't want to be. These words have helped me to step out on faith and believe God for the impossible. They have helped me to recognize and accept my own failures and weaknesses. These words have healed my brokenness and lead me toward God and the direction He was leading me in. 

I believe writing "A Purpose Producing Life" has equipped me. Not only for letting go, but also for the purpose of empowering me to step into the new with hope and expectation to succeed in fully becoming who God has purposed me to be. 

Now in 2019, I have the courage to let go of  what has become an old thing, so that I can now move forward and create the new, again.    

Much Love,

Nicole Payne

Why and where is answered by who and what

 Okay, I know you’re like huh? Well, let me explain. Many of us have questions about why we are in a particular place in our lives. Well, to better understand how to answer those questions, you first have to ask yourself the questions of who and what?

Meaning, who are the people in your life? The people you surround yourself with will have a major effect on your life and the direction you take. Those individuals will influence your thoughts as well as your beliefs. Remember, what you believe or desire, you will pursue. Whether or not the thing you are pursuing is true or even good for you. That brings me to my next questions: 

What do those relationships look like with the people in your life? Are they healthy? Are they influencing you to move toward fulfilling your purpose and becoming the best person you can be?

There are two types of people in our lives. There are those individuals who are helping you to get into your destiny, and also, those who will keep you from it. I thank God for my Apostle, Barbara Wentroble. She has a saying, “be around those who celebrate you, not those who tolerate you”.  Answering these questions of who is in your life and what those relationships look like in your life, will answer the why and the where you are in your life.

In fulfilling God's purpose, you have to be willing to make adjustments in your relationships. This decision will better position you to move in a direction toward the destiny God has purposed for you. If you are not sure how to do that, ask God to define your relationships. Unfortunately, with some people you may have to make those hard decisions and disconnect from those who are not celebrating you.

Nonetheless, you will be in a place of clarity. Knowing you are in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. In God's plan. There is no better place to be.  

Much Love
Nicole 

Perception is everything...

 

How you see things is key to having a successful life filled with purpose and destiny. Perception plays a huge role in how you navigate through people. Situations and circumstances may have an appearance of looking like one thing, yet, the intent or the purpose can mean something very different. For instance, this picture:

 

On Saturday, I saw this picture at the 99 cent store. Can you believe it?

 

Well, I had just finished a really good workout and was in a certain frame of mindset. Yet, I sent this picture out into social media and the perception of its meaning was taken very differently. Some perceived the post to mean I was sending a message of LOVE to them. Yet in fact, it is a message of Love. However, that was not my reason for posting it. That brings me to my next question:

 

How do you see LOVE?

 

If you are in a frame of mind to receive LOVE, then it makes perfect sense to see this message as something sent to you, others will see this same message as a LOVE message sent to someone else to encourage them.

 

However, when I bought this picture, I was saying, "I LOVE Nicole to the moon and back". 

 

In fulfilling a purpose producing life, you need to give yourself and others the freedom to be who they are without judgment. Just because someone see's things differently does not make it wrong, it only means they have a different perception of a situation.

 

I believe this is a better way in how to LOVE one another.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



I am a Rolls Royce

 

“Be in Love with every moment of your life” (Anonymous)

 



As plainly as I can put it, I know I am a Rolls Royce.

Yet, although I am of huge value, there are times I will get rained on

and dirty by being driven through ugly places in life. 

Yet, it does not change who I am, nor does it change my value.   

I am a Rolls Royce.

Whether you like me or not.

I am still a Rolls Royce.

The fact that you don't value me, does not change anything.

The reality of who I know I am, is all the reality that is necessary.

I am a Rolls Royce.



A Praying Woman

 

 

Not sure why, but for some reason, I strongly felt I needed to write about this subject...my experience of praying for the man I want. How many of you have ever done this?

 

Well, for starters, without really understanding how much of a difference this action of praying will really make. The one difference I notice, has happened within myself.

 

For a very long time, I have been doing a lot of expecting from an outward paradigm. Meaning, I was just looking for him to be what I want and all the things I am looking for in a man. And with good reason. There is a lot of mess out here that I do not want!!! Okay, but I digress.

 

I had a number of expectations and specifically, some things that I call (NWTDW) "Not willing to do without." Oh boy, I had a long list of things. Yet, however, the amazing transformation that has occurred, has happened within my thinking.

 

My thoughts have begun to shift from what he can do for me; to what I can do to be the best I could possibly be for him. Which leads me to my next question.

 

Are you praying to receive the desires of your heart?  And if so, what changes are you experiencing?

 

I know there is so much more to this subject, but that's it for now. "More will be revealed".

 

Much Love

 

 

"Believe God"

When all else fails, believe God

No matter where you’re going

Even if you’re hurting

In spite of set-backs and delays

Set your heart to finish

You will get there if you keep moving

Continue to move forward until you get there

Believe God

Let Go and Let God

Today I finally realized, I have been thinking far too much and way too hard.

Today is the day I gave it all to God, again.

Much Love,
Nicole

Be Encouraged

“So in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” (Romans 12:5-8)

The one gift I have always been intrigued by is the gift of encouragement. Although this is one of my grace gifts, yet, there are times when I need encouragement just to make it through the day. That is when I have to ask the question:

How does this gift work for me when I’m discouraged?

I have come to realize, the gifts within me are to be given away. That is why it’s called a gift. There is another scripture that comes to mind when I think about sharing a gift. Galatians 6:7 says “Be not deceived God is not mocked.  Whatsoever a man sows, he will reap.”

So, with that being said, I just wanted you to know. You are greatly loved of the Father. You are the apple of His eye.  Regardless of whatever you are going through, this too shall pass. You will succeed and accomplish your purpose.  You will fulfill your destiny, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Nicole

I'm Blessed...For Real

Today, I write these words with an overwhelming knowing of how blessed I truly am.  I know that sounds corny, but hear me out.  I mean, I'm really blessed!! 

Okay, I can hear some saying "Um really!!" "What makes this declaration so different from any other declaration you've made before"? 

Well, for starters, my assurance and knowing that God has covered my life all of this time.

As I look back over my life I can see God's Love woven throughout the pattern of who I am. Every stitch of my personality, every thread is saturated in the Holy Spirit. 

However, the fact that I've had to endure and overcome, goes without saying. Yet, through it all, I'm still here. After all of the heartache, betrayals and not to mention, all of the loss. I am yet, full of the Holy Spirit and seeking after a God whom I love dearly. There is absolutely nothing more fulfilling than God's purpose for my life.  Producing His purpose on this earth.

So, with all of that being said, now, maybe you can better understand when I say "I'm blessed".

Love you greatly!

Nicole

God, What Do You Want?....

Hello everyone, being that we are in such times of change, this post came to mind. When I wrote this post over three years ago, I was in a very unusual place to say the least. I had just gotten fired from my job and pretty much got marched out of the building like a common criminal. This was a time where I felt like the enemy was literally laughing and taunting me. I began to think about all the junk I had talked about how "big and bad" my God is, the countries I had traveled to, all the people I've ministered to, all the blessings God had poured out through me, and yet, there I was in this place where I felt so all alone and even helpless.


In a time like this, the one thing I surprisingly struggled with was "PRIDE". People like myself, are highly functional with many talents, extremely capable of doing many things. So now, how do I resolve the issue of fixing all of the many situations I am now facing, and having absolutely "NO" answers?

In all honesty, now, I know this was the best place I could have ever been. I truly discovered the Grace of God by leaps and bounds as I've never known before. What I discovered, there was no room for me to fix anything. I was the one who was in need of “fixin”. There was no remedy or antidote. However, sadly, I was so angry! Oh! but here’s the ugly part. It was not so much because of all the things I had just endured, it was the fact that I couldn’t do anything about it. I had to put down my weapons of choice and ask God “what do you want”. With that being said, this brings me to my next question.

When is the last time you asked the Lord; what does He want from you?

A purpose producing life, is a life that is truly reliant on God and His will. No matter where you might find yourself, or how bad it may seem. Be willing to ask the Lord, What do You want?

This is the place where God will show you just how "big and bad" He can be for you.

Much Love!

HOPE....

What does your hope look like?


Hope is what you expect. Hope wants far more than where you are and longs for the very best to come. Hope says “I can‘t wait to get there”. Hope presents an excitement of expectation. When all else is gone and there is nothing left, hope always seems to anticipate the best and look onward to the future. Hope is the vision and the desire of where your faith takes you.

When your hope is gone; you have stopped expecting, looking, and working toward your desires. There’s a scripture in the bible that says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” this really is a great example of what death or dying looks like. If we are the just and the just shall live by faith, then once we’ve stopped hoping for our desires to come to pass, a death process takes place in our lives. As people of faith, we must live in a perpetual state of faith to be an example of life on this earth. With that being said, this brings me to my next question.

What is it that you are hoping for and are you moving in the direction of that hope by faith?

Another scripture that comes to mind is Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen”. In spite of whatever place you may find yourself, if you’ve got hope in the midst of your situation, you will continue to keep moving by faith, even when you cannot see the way. Hope is what we envision our faith to be, but faith is what we do to get there.

A purpose producing life is a life filled with the hope of fulfilling God’s purpose. Throughout my everyday life, hearing what God is saying and then, doing what God says, establishes God’s plans on this earth to advance the Kingdom of God, while I’m on this earth.

Keep hope alive!!

Nicole

Who Are You?...

Do you know who you are?

Well, this is a question I often ask myself.  Who are you?

Not because I don’t know myself as far as what I like or dislike, but more along the lines of understanding where I am right now.  And, honestly, am I okay with the answer? 

  

This is an extremely profound question for one reason, the answer is always changing.   Okay, I can hear you asking; Huh?  Well, how many of you are the same exact person you were twenty years ago?  Precisely! You’re not. This brings me to my next question.

Are you okay with being who and where you are? And if not, are you willing to make changes?

Along my journey, in living a purpose producing life, I’ve discovered that I’m always discovering something new about myself.  However, one of the most important factors in the success of being who I am is the key component of acceptance. Especially, in whatever I find at the other end of the question: Who are you?

One of the biggest distractions a person can face in life is self rejection. A successful life is the one who totally loves and accepts who they are. With that in mind, I invite you to ask that question. Regardless of whatever your answer may be. I will ask however, if your not pleased, be willing to forgive yourself. 

No matter your body size, wealth, gender, race, religion, or color of skin, loving you is a major key to your success in this life.  Often we are our biggest enemy because of rejection of our own self. Give yourself permission to forgive, love, and accept YOU.

Much Love,

Nicole      



                                             

What Shall I Render

“What shall I render, tell me what shall I give? For God has everything; and everything belongs to Him.”


This is a song I have not sang in a long time. But, in all honesty, what do we really have to give God other than ourselves. I read a scripture today that caught my attention, especially. Psalm 86: 11 says “Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.”

When I read in particular the part about “give me an undivided heart” that really struck a chord with me. I had to stop and think about that passage for a moment. If my heart is divided; how do I trust, believe, love, or rely on God; if I have a divided heart. With that in mind; this brings me to my next question.

Am I truly giving anything to God if my heart is divided?

And, better yet, how can I possibly receive anything from God? What I discovered; is no I’m not. This takes me to another scripture that says "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, (oppressed, depressed, tired, or stressed) and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28) Truth is, God wants to give us far more than we really want or desire. But there is something that God requires of us. To bring Him everything that we truly are.  Meaning, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Bring it all to Jesus.

When we give to Him wholeheartedly, He restores us fully because we are relying on His grace, and not our own understanding or ability.

So, I leave you with this question to ponder, what do you have to give?

Much Love,

FAVOR...

When you think of the favor of God, do you think of all the wonderful blessings that come along with the goodness of God? However, we rarely ever consider all the pain that accompanies the blessings of being a chosen vessel of God.

One of the many things I’ve struggled with in my walk with God is the hatred, jealousy, and the envy at times I’ve experienced from others just for being who God called me to be. I better understand now, that many of those attacks were intimidating tactics to keep me from moving forward. I know, some of you are probably saying, “but how is that so, you’re in the will of the Father”

Well, serving God is good, but it’s not always fair. There have been times when others have competed with me over a particular thing they’ve wanted so badly, and I’ve walked right into the very same situation and accomplished that very same thing, effortlessly. Not to mention how angry that may have made the individuals who have worked for that very same desire. Yet, I believe God uses different situations to challenge and provoke us to change. I’ve also been on the other side of this as well. God has placed people in my life who have provoked me, and yes, they have irritated the heck out of me.

Well, at this point of my life, I see things very differently in the sense of being far more aware of others and their feelings, as well as, sensitive to not be so threatening, or at least not giving the appearance of flaunting my blessings in front of others. However, some people just don’t like you and there is really nothing you can do about that but show love where it’s received and keep on moving.

This brings me to my next question.

How are you responding to the favor of God in your life?

Sometimes, we get angry about situations that are occurring in our lives that make us uncomfortable as well as feeling persecuted, and we try to make it stop. We start to do things like push people away, we even get angry with God about certain situations that have not turned out the way we expected, and are often totally clueless to the fact that God’s favor is covering you.

I said all of this to say, God’s favor is not always a fun place to be, nor does it always position you to look as if your life is in the best place, but that’s where the lie begins. God’s favor sets you up to receive nothing but the best even though it sometimes does not appear that way.

Trust God in whatever place you find yourself and let the Lord lead you into that place of blessing where you also are effortlessly producing the purposes of God in everything that is within your heart.

Much Love,

Nicole

Keep On Keeping On

Hello everyone,

I know it's been a while since I've last shared with you, but at this point I just wanted to say one very important thing. Keep on keeping on! 

I know, I know, that's not very deep or philosophical, but however, it is the word of God.

"So I tell you, continue to ask, and God will give to you. Continue to search, and you will find. Continue to knock, and the door will open for you. Yes, if a person continues asking, that person will receive. If a person continues looking, that person will find. And if a person continues knocking, the door will open for that person."  (Luke 11:9-10)

No matter where you may find yourself, know that God has not given up on you and you are not a mistake. Even if your thoughts are telling you to give up and quit. I say to you today, keep on keeping on, for the best is yet to come.

Much Love!

Nicole

Can You Reach My Friend....

As Christians, how many of us are really concerned or even thinking about the needs of others we pass on a daily basis?  And better yet, who God may want to minister to.

Well, this past weekend, I was driving down Lincoln Boulevard in Marina Del Rey where I favor a particular Starbucks.  I was sitting at a stop light and just happened to look up and notice a young girl on the bus stop.  The sad thing was she had all these bags of clothes and stuff cluttering the bus bench.

Honestly, I see homeless people all the time and I'm not really moved by every one I see. Why? I guess maybe its because I'm not fully sure of their circumstances, so I only move based on compassion of the Holy Spirit, not feelings.

Anyway, I looked at this young woman a second time and noticed she was holding a small baby in her arms. Of course, I let out an audible reaction "oh my God, that's a little baby she's holding".  And as I looked closer there was another little baby on the bus bench. A little toddler. At that moment, I felt the presence of God all over me. I turned into the gas station and parked in front of the bus stop.

The young woman sees me approaching her and without hesitation, she smiles at me. As I walked closer to her, I begin to ask her about her circumstances and she shares about living in a nearby shelter. 

Just then, I asked her if she has money does she need anything?  She just began to cry and refused to take anything from me. And I just began to hold her and comfort her. I prayed for her and her babies and held her closely and encouraged her on the corner of Lincoln Boulevard and Venice. Traffic was so thick, it was barely moving. But God was in the midst of a traffic filled corner in Marina Del Rey that afternoon.

The Creator of this universe took the time to stop and pour Himself into a hurting young woman. This encounter has brought such change, not only into the young woman's life, but also into my life. Not to mention all those individuals who drove pass us and witnessed compassion being poured out as we embraced.    

I put a substantial amount of money in her hands and she just cried.  Which brings me to my next question:

Are you available for God to make Himself real in the lives of those who are in need and hurting?

We are the body of Christ. We are the hands and the feet of Christ to move on this earth and be the difference that the world so desperately needs.

Will you be the answer this world needs?

Let the Love of God be seen in you and demonstrated through you with compassion.

Much Love


                    

A Time to Give Thanks

How many of us are truly grateful for who we are? And better yet, for where we are?

Well, I for one have had my struggles along this path called life, but I have to admit, God has been so good to me, I shutter to even think where I'd be if I did not have the Lord in my life. Although I haven't blogged in a while, there's been so much in my heart and on my mind I could have gone in several directions, but somehow, I'm led to give thanks. 

The picture above was made by Tawanda Cooper who is one of my closest friends. She is a one of those people who I know I can take to war with me, as well as take to lunch. These types of people are far, few, and in between. We have ministered in many countries all across the nations, but seeing her recently put things into a whole new perspective for me. My friend is a highly educated woman, beautiful, and extremely talented. Yet, I've never seen her more happy and fulfilled as I witnessed her simply being a wife and mother to her little girl Kennedi.  

Anyway, this brings me to my next question:

Is living a purpose producing life about how much you accomplish and how important you are? Or with gratitude, making the most of your life, no matter where you are?

Honestly, if you would have told me twenty years ago that I'd be where I am today, I probably would have laughed and said "yeah right!!!".  The amazing thing is, God has been leading me for a long time and my life doesn't look anything like I thought it would. Actually, its more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

Anyway, I said all of that to say this. I am so grateful to God for where I am right now. I trust God because He has brought me this far, and He will lead me into my tomorrow. I'm living a purpose producing life filled with all the very best that life could possibly offer. Why?  Because I have God who reigns in my life and who is the very best that life could possibly offer. 

Much Love

             

The Moment of Truth

How many of you have ever come to a place in your life where you knew it was time to be real with You? I'm talking about a moment when you meet your true self.

This moment is "eth" consumed with truth and harsh reality....

I know you think you may know where I'm going with this, but hear me out. God has chosen me with a holy calling upon my life and although I am everything God says I am, there is a real war that rages against the very best of who God is in my life.

Well for me, I just happened upon myself through a mistake I kept making. It became a ritual of committing this sin every weekend and afterward I would cry out to God and ask for forgiveness.  I knew however God would forgive me and forget those mistakes.

Yet in reality, the moment of truth came when I realized I liked doing what I was doing and more than likely, I was going to do it again. So, that brings me to my next question:

How do you face the truth of yourself when you like/love doing something you know breaks God's heart?

This was heart breaking for me as well because I love the Lord. I was dealing with this issue from the religious perspective of me controlling a weakness. When in fact, regardless of how wrong it may be, I liked it and wanted to do it again. 

Just like the prodigal son, the bible says "he came to himself", or in other words he came to the realization of who he really was at that very moment. I got to a place where I knew this was a real weakness in my life that I was ashamed of.   

Bottom line, my moment of truth was realizing that there are some parts of me that I may struggle with for the rest of my life.  The only answer to freedom from sin is letting Christ be healing and deliverance in that part of my life where I'm weak, not how good I am at not committing a sin.

A purpose producing life is filled with all sorts of struggles and hardships. However, it is the life of a true over comer. Its a life that Christ reigns in; especially those parts of my life which are weak. "In my weakness He is made strong".