The Fact Is I Need You

So often as women, we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of self deception. As black women, we endure so much. At times, we become hard and disconnected because of hurts and disappointments. Some of the words that come out of our mouths are extremely devastating. Destructive words such as:

I DON'T NEED YOU...

Well, let me make it real clear, that's a lie. I am thoroughly convinced that my life would not be the same without your influence.  Now, I have to admit, there have been some frogs in my life. Actually, I'm thankful that I've overcame those issues and could eventually...forgive them.

But here's a thought.

Could I really respect and honor the blessing of a God given man, had I not experienced the pain of a counterfeit? In fact, how would I possibly know the difference?

It seems relatively sensible to me. Now, at this point of my life, I'm far more aware of what it is that I want; as well as what I don't. I can see so much more clearly how God has placed such magnificent men in my life. From my brothers to my uncles and friends across the board. I have really been blessed.

God has truly used men to restore my life in so many ways. I'm fascinated with the different influences from school, ministry, business, fitness, and for those of you who just make me feel like a beautiful women.  

Although I can buy myself pretty much anything I want is not the issue. However, somethings just don't ever change.  That my friend is the STRONG need I have for you, my BLACK brother.

Much Love

 

Let Go And...Just Go

Has there ever been a time in your life when you just knew it was time to go?

Well as for me, I can think of a number of times. I don't mean like its time to go to work, or anything so common.  I'm talking about a time where you have uprooted your life to move into a different place of change without knowing what's on the other side. 

I can freely say, this was a very awkward time for me.  I was comfortable where I was in my life and everything made sense.  I had control over my life, so to speak.  However, there was a part of me that was very unsatisfied and there was a longing for more of God in my life. I was very busy at church with many different projects of ministry, but something was still missing.

A particular time was an experience I had in 2005.  Before the season changed, my identity was clear and concise.  I had all my ducks in a row.  I knew who I was and it was all gravy baby.  The first clue my life had changed was when I was offered an opportunity to go on a ministry trip overseas.  I knew then God was speaking to me and answering my prayers.  Although it was an amazing opportunity, some did not want me to go, and were not at all happy with this change.

In old Nicole fashion, I started wondering if I should go or not.   Yet, in my heart I knew better.  Well, while I was contemplating whether or not to go, the Lord gave me a dream to settle any and all doubts I was having, once and for all.  (maybe one day I'll share that dream).

Anyway, I said yes to God and His destiny for my life and there was no turning back.  After I got home from that trip, I was walking in a new mantle. Meaning, I could no longer function as I did in the past. The Holy Spirit opened Himself to me in a way that I had never experienced before.  I simply could not ignore that uncomfortable place of complacency. I knew it was time for me to just go.

The amazing thing is, once you've stepped into that new realm, you don't have to worry about if you can let go of somethings because I promise you, God will help you by placing a hedge between you and your past, so much so, that some people from your past, will reject and push you out.

I'm not gonna lie, all hell broke loose.

If I had never stepped out, I'm sure I'd be doing something in the church, but never on the level that God has elevated me.  I had to come to a resolve within myself to just go, even if I had to go by myself.  As you can see, I did. Yes I was scared, ashamed, unsure, but however, full of joy, faith, and expectancy of hope for all God had for me.  

Needless to say, my life has never been the same.  I don't even resemble that person I use to be.  I went from being a good leader in ministry to becoming a daughter of the Most High God, who is living her purpose and furthermore, helping others to fulfill their destiny.

Let Your Light So Shine

Have you ever been in a situation where you were torn between light and darkness?

Well, the type of light I'm speaking of has to do with making righteous choices, versus cowering to the power of sin.

Recently I was faced with a dilemma.  I felt unsure about the way in which I spent time with an individual who is fairly new in my life, but I believe they are definitely a harvest that God has placed in my life to outreach and minister to.  Although this individual is a lot of fun, they use such profanity and vulgarity, its hard to be around them too long before I'm irritated.

I began to wonder.  Nicole do you disband this relationship, shorten the time you spend, or let this person know how you feel and let them decide.

And by the way, they know I'm a minister....

Okay hold on, I can hear you sucking your teeth, saying....she's making way too much out of this.

But hear me out. My real dilemma was I felt like all the vulgarity was going to have an affect on me. I'm a minister of the Gospel, I don't need to be around this kind of filth....okay you can stop laughing now.

Well, what I decided to do was talk to the Lord about it.  Needless to say, God heard my heart cry and gave me an answer.  I was so busy worrying about what the vulgarity was doing to me, that I forgot about who I really was. 

Anyway, one day while we were hanging out, a conversation about the things of God came up.  I just began to listen and my friend began to express appreciation for my willingness to let them be their self without feeling judged by me.

Well, I said all of that to say this:  This was never about me letting someone disrespect me with unwelcome profanity.  This was really about letting God be big enough in my life to shine His light through to help them see the way.    

We have been sent into a world of darkness to be salt and light. We are in the world, but not of the world.

I Decided..........

How many of us have given up on something because things in your life fell apart, or just got way too hard to keep going?


Well it seems this has been the story of my life, or so I thought. There have been numerous attempts of business, weight loss, relationships, careers, and etc.... Some with great success and others with enormous failure. But through it all, what I've discovered  is I had to make a decision of whether or not to keep going or to stay where I was. 


Although some of the stuff I had encountered was not my fault, it really didn't matter.  Life will throw things at you and some of those thing are so big and destructive, that it seems you can never get back on track.  For some reason, God saw fit to walk out a path for me that has taken me to some really ugly places.  However, everything I've been through has brought me to a place of victory and authority.  Nonetheless, not just for myself, but also, for those who will be impacted by my life.  


Nine years ago, the Lord gave me the ministry of Purpose Productions, and the foundation of my ministry is (Romans 8:28) "For we know that all things work together for the good of them who love God, who are the called according to His purpose."


WOW!!


Sounds deep and spiritual, huh?  Well, little did I know of the process I would endure to become exactly who God said.  One of the hardest struggles I've faced was myself and all of my failures. It seems like its been one thing after another that have come to knock me off the place God gave.  The thing that intrigues me most is the fact that I've sought the Lord and God moved, but somehow situations and circumstances brought about certain changes through hurts and disappointments and some of those experiences just left me in a place of grieving.


Funny thing is, for such a long time I didn't know I was grieving, I just thought I was getting my barrings and giving myself a chance to catch my breath, so to speak. There is a scripture in the bible where Paul says "you were running well, what hindered you?"   


At this point of my life, I honestly believe I would not be as effective had I not gone through all I have endured, as well as overcome.  This doesn't mean God could not have taken me a different way, but for some reason God chose to take me in this direction.


Bottom line is, I believe God has transformed my life to become the ministry He has given me.  As a result, the Lord is producing His purpose through my life on this earth.  However, I had to make a decision to believe God and then keep on believing because each day begins with a decision. 

I Got A New Attitude

Have you ever had a name change? Well I did, and my life has never been the same. The funny thing about this name change is not where I legally went and changed my name.  This name change was about God giving me a new identity.

I was at an ibM Mentoring Session with Barbara Wentroble in Denton, Texas. And if you've never been in one of Barbara's sessions, all I can say is hold on because change is on the way.  During the session, I got acquainted with a networking minister named Linda who was from Oklahoma, and we spent the next two days getting to know one another.

Anyway, she began to call me Veronica every time she spoke to me.  I explained to her no worries, I understood it was a mistake. But what was so fascinating, is that she kept on calling me Veronica for the rest of the time we were together.

Okay, the both of us being prophetic people, looked at each other and said there is something to this. But shortly after, I casually shrugged it off and never really thought about it any further.  Well, two weeks later Linda calls me at 7:00 am to share with me what God had given her. Not really moved, because it was still so early, I listened without much enthusiasm, hey, I was sleeping real good that morning. Anyhow, Linda began to share with me what God gave her, and this is what she said.

"Nicole, your name means victory and remember I kept calling you Veronica, well, Veronica means the bringer of the victory. You are no longer just victorious, but from now on, you will bring the victory to others."

WOW!!!

Its seems like such a small thing huh? But what you need to know is, I received that word from the Lord through Linda, and everything from that moment changed. My whole thought process had shifted. I no longer was in the mindset of being blessed. I had stepped into a whole new realm of thinking.  In this place,  my desire changed from self to longing for others to have nothing but the best from God.

What God showed me was He wanted me to know He was using me in a very unique and powerful way. But first, I had to believe what God said. Once I believed that word Linda gave me, the change had begun. My life has never been the same.

Now, I realize this was about authority, and understanding how to operate in it. Its one thing to have authority, and another to know how to use it. God wants us to see ourselves seated in heavenly places like Christ. We have been given such power to bring change on this earth. Unfortunately, so many individuals do not know who they are in Christ, and simply cannot bring the victory as God intended for us to do.

To The Man I Love

I'm writing this letter to the man I love because I want you to know what's in my heart.  I fell in love with you because of so many reasons. You are such a loving person who genuinely loves and cares for others.  You do for others simply because you get pleasure from doing so.


I have to admit, I was a bit concerned about when you were coming into my life because it has taken so many years to finally meet you.  Now that I've met you, I'm giddy as a school girl just at the thought of your smile. God answered my prayer for a man who loved God more than he loved me.  I knew that if I loved a man with this quality, I couldn't go wrong.  This quality was extremely important to me because I know your heart is to please God first and me second. 

You not only make me want to be a better person, I am a better person because of you. My desire is to please you as I please God. Since you have come into my life, I have come alive in ways that words cannot fully express. The only thing I want to do is show you my love in demonstration. There are so many dreams and ideas I have inside of me, and it feels so good to know that now you are here to live them with me. I look forward to spending time with you and all the new things I'll discover about you through the life we'll share together. It excites me to know that we have similar dreams and desires to bring change to this world. 

The fact that you challenge as well as support me, makes me long for you all the more.You continually impress me with your undeniable acceptance. Its refreshing to know that you're not intimidated by me. I just want you to know, its my pleasure to follow you wherever you go. I just want to be with you. These are just a few things that really excite me when I think of you.  





     

True To Yourself

One of the biggest enemies to your soul is self deception.

What do I mean by this statement?

How many of us go through day after day doing things we know we don't like or even agree with, but we do it anyway.  Now hear me out. I don't mean to speak everything that's on your mind. That would be way too risky for some to deal with. I'm talking about being true to yourself about who you are and what you want out of life.

There's a book by T.D. Jakes called "Naked And Not Ashamed." For me, this is one of those books that I keep close at bedside and read every now and then. One of the many lessons I've learned from this book is how to be totally honest with God. First of all, it really doesn't matter how you try to fake it, God already knows exactly how you truly feel anyway, so why even play yourself. So many of us have mastered how to play the game of what I call "getting by."

And as I mentioned before, you cannot just share all of your thoughts...oh believe me, I understand...you just cannot. I've learned how to come before God and just be real in situations where someone does nasty things and I just don't like that person, or if I want to do something that I know is wrong, but I want to do it anyway. Yeah...we've all been there. We all have unpleasant thoughts and feelings about one thing or another. What separates thoses who overcome from those who stay in that same ole place of deception, is the choice to be honest with God and with yourself. By truly expressing your heart and asking God to help you in the midst of that place empowers you. 

No matter how bad you may have messed up, or how ugly you may feel. By getting in the presence of God being naked and not ashamed of where you are rescinds all the power from the enemy.    

This represents a place of power and authority over your own thoughts as well as your own decisions to succeed further in your walk with God. There are always going to be situations and circumstances that happen, and oftentimes beyond your control. How you perceive and the actions that you take will definitely dictate your outcome. The difference between a wise man and a fool are his thoughts and words which intern will lead to specific actions.